My Particular Girl

from by One Happy Island

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At the movies
on our first date,
she was so cute
when playfully irate.
The popcorn was too yellow,
she couldn't stand the crowd,
the dialogue was trite,
and the explosions were too loud.
Her seat was way too thin
and her milkshake way too thick.
The heroine was passive and the hero was a dick.

Let me tell you all about my particular girl:
If things are slightly not right,
she's uptight
And they must be rearranged.
So strange, but more peculiar 'bout this particular girl:
What a surprise,
of all the guys
why oh why
did it just have to be this
calm and careless
laissez-faire-ish guy
who caught her eye?

For our wedding,
we eloped.
So romantic or so we had hoped.
She laughed about the bugs
and the store bought lemonade
but then frowned and cursed the traffic
from the Labor Day parade.
She got hot and irritated;
my socks didn't match my tie,
then the hotel where we spent the night had awfully slow wifi.

When I moved in,
a disaster.
She got so red when I marred her plaster.
I got a little winded,
took a break as she unpacked
and it really seemed to bug her
when I polished off the snacks.
She looked at me askance
when I smoked a couple bowls
and then found the wrong way to put on the toilet paper roll.


from Your Flaws Aren't Picturesque, released July 17, 2015



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